Being candid and being connected go together. You don't have one without the other. Genuine, healthy, deep, meaningful relationships are built on honesty, not flattery. Flattery is a sign of a manipulator, not a sign of somebody who is genuinely your friend.
All of us have blind spots. The question that really matters is, do you have anybody in your life who loves you enough to point them out? You cannot grow unless somebody points out the things that you can't see in your life, but that need changing. Let me give you three rules for being candid in relationships:
1. Compliment in public, correct in private. Do this with your children, your spouse, your employees, and your friends.
2. Correct when they're up and not down. When I'm feeling good, I can handle almost any correction. When I'm feeling tired, I can't handle anything. Timing is everything when you're being candid.
3. Never offer correction until you've proven that you are also willing to be corrected. Remember, seek to understand before seeking to be understood. You open up your life before you can expect someone else to be open with you.
" An honest answer is like a warm hug" (Proverbs 24:26 MSG)
Another great way to connect in relationships with people by Rick Warren. This is true, when you have a real genuine relationship. I hope you take this as an encouragement to be CANDID with people if you are wanting a genuine friend. I hear alot of people complain about genuine relationships don't exist and how people are "fake." Well if you want people to be genuine YOU FIRST have to be REAL and GENUINE. I just want to encourage you to be GENUINE if you want GENUINE.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Connect by using Constructive Words
Did you know that the words that come out of our mouths are like a tool? Sometimes they're like a sledgehammer. We swing away without thinking and end up with a pile of relational rubble. Sometimes they're like a saw, cutting people down. If we keep using these tools, inevitably our relationships are going to suffer.
One reason we aren't constructive with our words is we don't realize how powerful they are; yet, I bet you can still remember things people said to you in a thoughtless way as far back as grade school or college. That's how powerful words are. They leave a lasting impact. So when it comes to your mouth, think of it as a power tool and be very careful with it.
Here's how to build instead of destroying with your words--
Stop excusing-- Stop saying, "I didn't really mean to say that." Realize that what you say impacts everyone around you.
Talk less-- If it's a power tool, you don't have to use it as much. One of the reasons we get in trouble is we just talk too much sometimes.
Listen more-- If I listen more, I can understand people's needs.
Start Building-- Think first of all, "What do they need?" How can I use a word of encouragement to build them up? How can I use a word of challenge to make a difference in someone's life? How can I use my words to build up the people I love the most?
Key verse:
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."(Ephesians 4:29 NIV)
What a great teaching taken from Rick Warren! I was reminded instantly of 2 good friends of mine Jonny and Jason they were always talking about 4:29 whenever someone in our youth group or when we were just simply hanging out. 4:29 was referring to Ephesians 4:29! So it was funny and encouraging at the same time to see that. It was a good tool to get our students to encourage one another instead of tear each other down. Alot of times we don't realize the power of our words and say whatever comes to mind, but we are told in the Bible that kind words heal and help while cutting words wound and hurt ( Proverbs 15:7 MSG) You have to filter what you say because we never know who we are going to affect with our words!
One reason we aren't constructive with our words is we don't realize how powerful they are; yet, I bet you can still remember things people said to you in a thoughtless way as far back as grade school or college. That's how powerful words are. They leave a lasting impact. So when it comes to your mouth, think of it as a power tool and be very careful with it.
Here's how to build instead of destroying with your words--
Stop excusing-- Stop saying, "I didn't really mean to say that." Realize that what you say impacts everyone around you.
Talk less-- If it's a power tool, you don't have to use it as much. One of the reasons we get in trouble is we just talk too much sometimes.
Listen more-- If I listen more, I can understand people's needs.
Start Building-- Think first of all, "What do they need?" How can I use a word of encouragement to build them up? How can I use a word of challenge to make a difference in someone's life? How can I use my words to build up the people I love the most?
Key verse:
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."(Ephesians 4:29 NIV)
What a great teaching taken from Rick Warren! I was reminded instantly of 2 good friends of mine Jonny and Jason they were always talking about 4:29 whenever someone in our youth group or when we were just simply hanging out. 4:29 was referring to Ephesians 4:29! So it was funny and encouraging at the same time to see that. It was a good tool to get our students to encourage one another instead of tear each other down. Alot of times we don't realize the power of our words and say whatever comes to mind, but we are told in the Bible that kind words heal and help while cutting words wound and hurt ( Proverbs 15:7 MSG) You have to filter what you say because we never know who we are going to affect with our words!
Monday, November 28, 2011
Remember your wins!
You are probably familiar with the story of how David, with a sling and a stone, slew Goliath, a 10 feet tall Philistine warrior. But have you ever wondered why David succeeded while the others in the army of Israel did not even dare to face Goliath?
David's secret was that he was only conscious of victory and not defeat, because he knew a God who had rescued him time and again.
You can just imagine him saying, "One day, i was taking care of my sheep when a lion came and took one of them. I was not willing to settle for that! I went after the lion caught it by its beard and smote it. The Lord delivered me from the lion's mouth. On another occasion, a bear came and took one of my flock. I went after the bear and smote it. So the Lord delivered me from the bear too. This same God, who delivered me from the paws of the lion and bear, will also deliver me from this Philistine." (1 Samuel 17:34-37)
David was conscious of what God had done for him. He knew that God was for him, loved him, favored him and would give him victory again. My friend, you can also remind yourself that the same God, who did tremendous things for you in the past, will do the same for you again.
Be like David, who was conscious only of God's goodness and faithfulness. Don't be like the army of Israel. The men were conscious of the negative words of Goliath. I believe that they must have talked about his threats, repeating his words to one another, and as a result, filled their hearts with fear. (1 Samuel 17:11, 24)
Beloved, don't feed on the negative words of man or the devil. It will only cause you to be anxious and fearful. Feed on God's Word by reading the Bible and listening to messages about who you are in Christ and what He has done for you. Pump yourself up with God's Word until you are full of the Spirit and consciousness of God, so that you might know the things that have been freely given to you by God!
Thought for the day:
The same God, who did tremendous things for you in the past, will do the same for you again.
"What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us." (1 Corinthians 2:12 NIV)
Yet another great excerpt from Joseph Prince!
I don't know what kinds of things that you might be battling with or going through but I do know that once you have accepted Jesus Christ into your hearts, you have a Spirit of power! (2 Timothy 1:7 NIV) So that when you are going through something that is bogging you down, be like David and remember when you had the power to overcome the obstacles, remember the victories, remember the good! Remember that there will be storms in life, but the storms are never forever but they are temporary! I hope that when you read this you are encouraged!
David's secret was that he was only conscious of victory and not defeat, because he knew a God who had rescued him time and again.
You can just imagine him saying, "One day, i was taking care of my sheep when a lion came and took one of them. I was not willing to settle for that! I went after the lion caught it by its beard and smote it. The Lord delivered me from the lion's mouth. On another occasion, a bear came and took one of my flock. I went after the bear and smote it. So the Lord delivered me from the bear too. This same God, who delivered me from the paws of the lion and bear, will also deliver me from this Philistine." (1 Samuel 17:34-37)
David was conscious of what God had done for him. He knew that God was for him, loved him, favored him and would give him victory again. My friend, you can also remind yourself that the same God, who did tremendous things for you in the past, will do the same for you again.
Be like David, who was conscious only of God's goodness and faithfulness. Don't be like the army of Israel. The men were conscious of the negative words of Goliath. I believe that they must have talked about his threats, repeating his words to one another, and as a result, filled their hearts with fear. (1 Samuel 17:11, 24)
Beloved, don't feed on the negative words of man or the devil. It will only cause you to be anxious and fearful. Feed on God's Word by reading the Bible and listening to messages about who you are in Christ and what He has done for you. Pump yourself up with God's Word until you are full of the Spirit and consciousness of God, so that you might know the things that have been freely given to you by God!
Thought for the day:
The same God, who did tremendous things for you in the past, will do the same for you again.
"What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us." (1 Corinthians 2:12 NIV)
Yet another great excerpt from Joseph Prince!
I don't know what kinds of things that you might be battling with or going through but I do know that once you have accepted Jesus Christ into your hearts, you have a Spirit of power! (2 Timothy 1:7 NIV) So that when you are going through something that is bogging you down, be like David and remember when you had the power to overcome the obstacles, remember the victories, remember the good! Remember that there will be storms in life, but the storms are never forever but they are temporary! I hope that when you read this you are encouraged!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Quit trying to please everybody
When we worry about what other people think, we let them control us. We waste a lot of time and energy trying to figure out what other people want us to be. Then, we waste a lot of time and energy trying to become like that rather than just being what God made us to be. You're manipulated and controlled by somebody else.
Worrying about what other people think is dangerous because we're more likely to cave in to criticism. It means we don't always do the right thing; instead, we do the thing that everybody wants us to do.
And we're in danger of missing God's best because we're so worried about what other people want us to do that we can't stop to think about what God wants us to do.
Fact 1- You cannot please everybody.
Fact 2- It's not necessary to please everybody.
Fact 3- Rejection will not ruin your life.
Quit trying to please everybody! Remember that nobody can make you feel inferior unless you give them permission.
The Apostle Paul says, "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31 TEV) This means we can think like this: "God likes me, and I like me; if you don't like me, then you've got a problem. If God likes me, who cares that everybody doesn't approve of everything I do."
Remember, nothing you ever do will make God love you less. Nothing you ever do will make God love you more. He loves you completely right now.
Words of encouragement:
"Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe." (Proverbs 29:25 NIV)
"What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31 NIV)
Another good message from Rick Warren! I just want to encourage you, don't let others dictate your next move. Seek God's wisdom, understanding, knowledge, discernment, love and ask for Him to reveal the next move. We tend to try to make things happen on our own and fix things on our own, when the Bible teaches "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matthew 6:33 NIV) You have to understand you can't do it on your own and you can't please everybody, but we can lean on God for help and understanding!
Worrying about what other people think is dangerous because we're more likely to cave in to criticism. It means we don't always do the right thing; instead, we do the thing that everybody wants us to do.
And we're in danger of missing God's best because we're so worried about what other people want us to do that we can't stop to think about what God wants us to do.
Fact 1- You cannot please everybody.
Fact 2- It's not necessary to please everybody.
Fact 3- Rejection will not ruin your life.
Quit trying to please everybody! Remember that nobody can make you feel inferior unless you give them permission.
The Apostle Paul says, "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31 TEV) This means we can think like this: "God likes me, and I like me; if you don't like me, then you've got a problem. If God likes me, who cares that everybody doesn't approve of everything I do."
Remember, nothing you ever do will make God love you less. Nothing you ever do will make God love you more. He loves you completely right now.
Words of encouragement:
"Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe." (Proverbs 29:25 NIV)
"What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31 NIV)
Another good message from Rick Warren! I just want to encourage you, don't let others dictate your next move. Seek God's wisdom, understanding, knowledge, discernment, love and ask for Him to reveal the next move. We tend to try to make things happen on our own and fix things on our own, when the Bible teaches "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matthew 6:33 NIV) You have to understand you can't do it on your own and you can't please everybody, but we can lean on God for help and understanding!
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Be Thankful!!!
Jesus lived a life of thanksgiving. He always thanked His Father for what He had and for always hearing Him when He prayed. That was how He released miracles in His life.
In the story of the feeding of the 5,000 (John 6:1-13), Jesus' attitude was one of thankfulness. He took a little boy's lunch of 5 loaves and 2 fish, gave thanks and had them distributed. He gave thanks for the little that was there and the little multiplied. Not only did the people eat as much as they wanted, there were 12 baskets full of leftovers!
So when you see the meager balance in your bank account, thank the Lord for what you have. That's your "5 loaves and 2 fish." When you give Him thanks that He is your provider and the source of your supply, in spite of the little you have, your little will become much, with leftovers!
Even when faced with the impossible, the solution was still, "Father, I thank you..." When Jesus stood outside Lazarus' tomb, and the people took away the stone that was covering the tomb, He did not see the situation as hopeless and impossible. He simply lifted up His eyes and said, "Father, I thank You that You have heard Me." Then, He proceeded to call forth Lazarus, and the man came forth alive once more!
The raising of Lazarus, who had been dead for more than 4 days, was one of Jesus' greatest miracles. And He accomplished this by saying, "Father, I thank You that You have heard Me." He thanked His way to an awesome miracle.
My friend, the next time you find yourself praying, "God, please do this for me! Please give me..." STOP! Instead, say, "Thank You God, for hearing me. And because You have heard me, I thank You that I have what I ask for." And when you thank God, the little that you have will multiply. Your impossible situations will turn around to reflect God's provision. And resurrection life will hit you!
Thought for the day:
When you give Him thanks for the little you have, your little will become much, with leftovers!
"So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, 'Father, I thank you that you have heard me.'"
John11:41 NIV
---message above from Joseph Prince
I know sometimes I get ahead of myself thinking that i am better than my situation or simply comparing myself to peers that are doing better than me thinking that I should have more and make more because of what I've accomplished or done. I know we get that way just because it is in our human nature. But what God says about that is, simply be thankful for the things I have now. You have to remember to keep things simple when it comes to living life. We all have to keep things in perspective and that all things and situations are temporary.
I just want to encourage whoever is reading this, to think, to live and to be thankful for what you have, friends, family, things, work, car, legs, feet, eyes, or simply just another day to live! Be THANKFUL!
In the story of the feeding of the 5,000 (John 6:1-13), Jesus' attitude was one of thankfulness. He took a little boy's lunch of 5 loaves and 2 fish, gave thanks and had them distributed. He gave thanks for the little that was there and the little multiplied. Not only did the people eat as much as they wanted, there were 12 baskets full of leftovers!
So when you see the meager balance in your bank account, thank the Lord for what you have. That's your "5 loaves and 2 fish." When you give Him thanks that He is your provider and the source of your supply, in spite of the little you have, your little will become much, with leftovers!
Even when faced with the impossible, the solution was still, "Father, I thank you..." When Jesus stood outside Lazarus' tomb, and the people took away the stone that was covering the tomb, He did not see the situation as hopeless and impossible. He simply lifted up His eyes and said, "Father, I thank You that You have heard Me." Then, He proceeded to call forth Lazarus, and the man came forth alive once more!
The raising of Lazarus, who had been dead for more than 4 days, was one of Jesus' greatest miracles. And He accomplished this by saying, "Father, I thank You that You have heard Me." He thanked His way to an awesome miracle.
My friend, the next time you find yourself praying, "God, please do this for me! Please give me..." STOP! Instead, say, "Thank You God, for hearing me. And because You have heard me, I thank You that I have what I ask for." And when you thank God, the little that you have will multiply. Your impossible situations will turn around to reflect God's provision. And resurrection life will hit you!
Thought for the day:
When you give Him thanks for the little you have, your little will become much, with leftovers!
"So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, 'Father, I thank you that you have heard me.'"
John11:41 NIV
---message above from Joseph Prince
I know sometimes I get ahead of myself thinking that i am better than my situation or simply comparing myself to peers that are doing better than me thinking that I should have more and make more because of what I've accomplished or done. I know we get that way just because it is in our human nature. But what God says about that is, simply be thankful for the things I have now. You have to remember to keep things simple when it comes to living life. We all have to keep things in perspective and that all things and situations are temporary.
I just want to encourage whoever is reading this, to think, to live and to be thankful for what you have, friends, family, things, work, car, legs, feet, eyes, or simply just another day to live! Be THANKFUL!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Develop this important habit...
The elation of success and the roar of the crowd can be intoxicating to a leader, especially one who has bought into the idea that self-worth is equal to performance and the opinion of others. Taking time alone with God as your audience of One is an important habit that will keep your ego from compromising your leadership.
"Among the gods there is none like you, O Lord; no deeds can compare with yours. All the nations you have made will come and worship before you, O Lord; they will bring glory to your name. For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God."
Psalm 86:8-10
Prayer: Lord, there is none like you. When I am delighted by my words and work, I need to remember that You alone are God and I am the work of Your hands. Thank You for the reminder. In Jesus name, amen.
This is just a reminder that in the busy ness of life we still need to stay focused on the real deal, that is keeping God the first priority. I know for me PRIDE, EGO and SELFISHNESS is something always reoccurring. When things go well we have the tendency to think we did it on our own and then it happens again that we succeed and then we forget that God was the one that has given us that ability to do all the things we are able to do.
I just want to encourage whoever is reading this, although it is good to marinate in the OooO's and AHHH's when you succeed. Just don't forget that quality time with G-O-D.
"Among the gods there is none like you, O Lord; no deeds can compare with yours. All the nations you have made will come and worship before you, O Lord; they will bring glory to your name. For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God."
Psalm 86:8-10
Prayer: Lord, there is none like you. When I am delighted by my words and work, I need to remember that You alone are God and I am the work of Your hands. Thank You for the reminder. In Jesus name, amen.
This is just a reminder that in the busy ness of life we still need to stay focused on the real deal, that is keeping God the first priority. I know for me PRIDE, EGO and SELFISHNESS is something always reoccurring. When things go well we have the tendency to think we did it on our own and then it happens again that we succeed and then we forget that God was the one that has given us that ability to do all the things we are able to do.
I just want to encourage whoever is reading this, although it is good to marinate in the OooO's and AHHH's when you succeed. Just don't forget that quality time with G-O-D.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Sometimes you just need to get alone...
Solitude is a countercultural and challenging behavior. We need to find time to be truly alone with God, without an agenda. It is rare and often unsettling feeling to stop doing and just be.
"Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, 'come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.' So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place."
Mark 6:31-32
Prayer: There are so many distractions, Lord--my family, my work, church, activities, the television and radio, my own inner thoughts--it is so hard to get away by myself to be with You. I know that it is critical to who I am as a leader. I want to carve out some time. Help me find it and keep it! In, Jesus name, AMEN!
I hope that in the midst of all the craziness of life, that you find some time for yourself and quiet time with God. I encourage you to seek after Him who is bigger than any circumstance, problem, issue or simply anything that you feel is hindering you from progressing forward.
"Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, 'come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.' So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place."
Mark 6:31-32
Prayer: There are so many distractions, Lord--my family, my work, church, activities, the television and radio, my own inner thoughts--it is so hard to get away by myself to be with You. I know that it is critical to who I am as a leader. I want to carve out some time. Help me find it and keep it! In, Jesus name, AMEN!
I hope that in the midst of all the craziness of life, that you find some time for yourself and quiet time with God. I encourage you to seek after Him who is bigger than any circumstance, problem, issue or simply anything that you feel is hindering you from progressing forward.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Don't Give Up!!!!
When God gives you a dream, you can be sure you'll run into delays, difficulties, detours and dead ends along the way. They are a natural part of life. But you can be ready for them.
Now if anybody had a right to be discouraged, it was Noah. Do you know how long it took Noah to build the ark? 120 years. Could you go 120 years on a project without one word of encouragement from anybody else in society?
Noah trusted God. And when he heard God's warning about the future, Noah believed him even though there was no sign of a flood. I bet there were many days that Noah didn't feel like going to work, but for 43,800 days, he went to the same place and he worked. He never gave up.
Don't give up on your dream either. Don't give up on the marriage. Don't give up on your health. Don't, don't, don't give up. God is in control. You haven't read the final chapter of your life. God's already written it, but you haven't read it yet.
The Bible says, "God is always on the alert, constantly on the lookout for people who are totally committed to him." God is looking for people that he can bless. I want you to be one of those people.
Don't give up!
2 Chronicles 16:9 (MSG)
"God is always on the alert, constantly on the lookout for people who are totally committed to him. You were foolish to go for human help when you could have had God's help. Now you're in trouble-one round of war after another."
Woke up to another great message by Rick Warren. I hope whoever reads this is encouraged to not give up no matter what the circumstance. Everything is temporary, and whatever you may be going through remember it is only a season. Don't forget about your dreams and continue to dream about things that are bigger than yourself. God is in control not you or me. This is a hard concept for me to grasp but I know at the end of the day God will ALWAYS provide.
Now if anybody had a right to be discouraged, it was Noah. Do you know how long it took Noah to build the ark? 120 years. Could you go 120 years on a project without one word of encouragement from anybody else in society?
Noah trusted God. And when he heard God's warning about the future, Noah believed him even though there was no sign of a flood. I bet there were many days that Noah didn't feel like going to work, but for 43,800 days, he went to the same place and he worked. He never gave up.
Don't give up on your dream either. Don't give up on the marriage. Don't give up on your health. Don't, don't, don't give up. God is in control. You haven't read the final chapter of your life. God's already written it, but you haven't read it yet.
The Bible says, "God is always on the alert, constantly on the lookout for people who are totally committed to him." God is looking for people that he can bless. I want you to be one of those people.
Don't give up!
2 Chronicles 16:9 (MSG)
"God is always on the alert, constantly on the lookout for people who are totally committed to him. You were foolish to go for human help when you could have had God's help. Now you're in trouble-one round of war after another."
Woke up to another great message by Rick Warren. I hope whoever reads this is encouraged to not give up no matter what the circumstance. Everything is temporary, and whatever you may be going through remember it is only a season. Don't forget about your dreams and continue to dream about things that are bigger than yourself. God is in control not you or me. This is a hard concept for me to grasp but I know at the end of the day God will ALWAYS provide.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Make a difference by being different
One of the most important tests we all face as we try to achieve what God has called us to do is cultural distraction. For instance--
The distraction of popularity-- If you are always worried about what other people think, you will be distracted from you destiny.
The distraction of pleasure-- It's ok to have fun and feel comfort, but if that's the primary focus of your life, you will never fulfill your destiny.
The distraction of profits-- You can't serve both God and money. Making a profit can't be the primary focus of your life.
The distraction of possessions-- Judging your success by how much stuff you own will keep you concerned about keeping things and maintaining things.
The antidote to cultural distractions is this: you must dare to be different from others. If you are going to reach the dream God has given you, you much also dare to be different from others.
Noah was different. God liked what he saw in Noah. Everything was headed toward destruction, but Two words changed history-- "but Noah." That's the power of one person. That's the power of just one individual who chooses to be different.
Genesis 6:5-6 and 8
Good insight taken from a devotional by Rick Warren that I thought I would share, I hope this was encouraging and helped some people see what God is trying to say to you in your life right now.
The distraction of popularity-- If you are always worried about what other people think, you will be distracted from you destiny.
The distraction of pleasure-- It's ok to have fun and feel comfort, but if that's the primary focus of your life, you will never fulfill your destiny.
The distraction of profits-- You can't serve both God and money. Making a profit can't be the primary focus of your life.
The distraction of possessions-- Judging your success by how much stuff you own will keep you concerned about keeping things and maintaining things.
The antidote to cultural distractions is this: you must dare to be different from others. If you are going to reach the dream God has given you, you much also dare to be different from others.
Noah was different. God liked what he saw in Noah. Everything was headed toward destruction, but Two words changed history-- "but Noah." That's the power of one person. That's the power of just one individual who chooses to be different.
Genesis 6:5-6 and 8
Good insight taken from a devotional by Rick Warren that I thought I would share, I hope this was encouraging and helped some people see what God is trying to say to you in your life right now.
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